Miles Edgeworth: Closet Fan
by deliriumofsorts
Summary: After being caught red-handed by three certain individuals, Edgeworth decides to spill the beans about a secret he's been keeping for a long time. One-shot set after Dual Destinies.


The Steel Samurai, loved by many. A protector of Neo Olde Tokyo, even he felt a desire for love sometimes.

On the rare days when there was nothing to do, the Steel Samurai scoured the city, searching for the perfect woman.

Today was one of those days.

The Steel Samurai was whistling nonchalantly on the sidewalk, admiring the tall buildings and skyscrapers. For whatever reason, his original purpose of going downtown had been abolished from his mind for just a second—

"Ouch!" A woman's voice said, and the Steel Samurai had found himself on the floor, along with another woman.

He gasped and offered a hand to the woman. "Ah, I'm sorry!" He said fervently, noticing that the woman was a princess... who was pink.

"Oh," the Princess waved her hand to dismiss the concern, "it's alright. You know, you're a bit of a hunk, Steel Samurai."

The Samurai blushed. He was called a hunk?

"Oh, t-thank you, miss. Hey! How do you know my name?"

The princess just gave a smirk. "You're the protector of this city, of course! And no need to call me miss—while it is flattering, you can call me Pink Princess."

The Samurai nodded and looked into the Pink Princess' eyes longingly—and the princess returned the favor.

Without a warning, the princess lunged towards the Samurai, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him. Passionately.

The Steel Samurai, who was shocked at first, put his arms slowly around her, and kissed back.

* * *

January 18, 9:05 AM

Prosecutor's Building

"Oh, won't you love me forever, Steel Samurai?" asked the Pink Princess, and the Samurai nodded.

Or, at least, Edgeworth made the Samurai action figure nod.

He made kissing noises as he pressed the two action figures together, so engrossed in what he was doing he didn't even notice that there were three individuals standing in front of his desk: Phoenix Wright, Larry Butz, and Detective Gumshoe.

Staring at the usually serious prosecutor, Phoenix cleared his throat in an attempt to be noticed by Edgeworth, and hopefully realize how long the three of them had been standing there — about a few minutes.

Edgeworth looked up to see his two childhood friends, and one certain scruffy detective, the latter two he hadn't seen for a while.

Turning a bright red, he quickly put the two figures on the edge of the table and put on his reading glasses, adjusting them by the corner.

"Erm... did you, by any chance, happen to witness that?" He asked, while the three men nodded very slowly,

"...I — I see, then. Ah, why are you all glaring at me like that?! Isn't it acceptable for me, the Chief Prosecutor, to have at least a decent amount of entertainment while there are no cases going on?!"

"Whoa, whoa, Edgeworth," Phoenix said, putting a hand up, "you're more defensive about this than that time when I asked you about the King of Prosecutors Award! We weren't... uh, glaring at you, right, guys?"

A nudge in the ribs elicited a half-hearted response from Gumshoe. "Y-yeah! We weren't glaring at you, Mr. Edgeworth, pal. In fact, I didn't think you playing with little action figures was socially unacceptable at all!"

"I mean," Larry piped up, "it's okay to have skeletons in your closet, right, Edgey? Nick and Detective Gumshoe probably have 'em too! ...N-not in the literal sense, though!"

"I know that, Larry. Suspiciously specific denials won't get you through this time, Gumshoe, Wright. ...You both were watching as I... did that with the two figures, correct?"

"I... nuh uh, Mr. Edgeworth! I pinky swear I didn't watch you! I didn't know you were even making the two figurines of the Steel Samurai and the Pink Princess passionately kiss one another at all!"

Phoenix facepalmed. "Detective Gumshoe, you're digging your own grave here. But, to be honest, Edgeworth... yes. We both saw you with the two action figures... and Larry, too."

"Wha... no, pal! Umm.. objection, hold it!" Gumshoe frantically said, even pointing his finger.

"Objection overruled." Edgeworth and Phoenix said in unison.

"What? But, Mr. Edgeworth, sir! I really didn't see you! I only nodded 'cause everyone else did! I'll testify if I have to! I've done this so many times..."

"There's no need to testify, Detective Gumshoe. It's hopeless, you both saw me! But, despite the unfortunate circumstances you've all found me in, I am in no way whatsoever... a Steel Samurai fan. I mean, everyone who doesn't live under a rock must have collectibles like these, yes?"

Phoenix's stomach lurched as he braced himself for the chains and the locks to appear, maybe even the intense music he would play in his head would start soon, and he was met with... utter disappointment. The locks hadn't shown at all, and everyone was giving him a funny look.

Oh, he mentally facepalmed, right. I left my magatama at home. At least I get a break from trying to break the Psyche-Locks...

"Um, Nick," Larry said, "why are you glaring at Edgey like that? ...You're not trying to have a staring contest with him, aren't you? I heard he made his own reflection lose, you know."

"No, no," Phoenix waved his hand in dismissal, "sorry, guys. I was lost in my thoughts for a second. Edgeworth, I'll have to ask you, are you sure you're not a Steel Samurai fan? It's alright to admit it. I like it myself... after Maya gave me all those DVDs of it."

"...Wright, Gumshoe, Larry," Edgeworth's voice was now horribly cold and unforgiving, miles away from his usual stoic and monotonous voice, "do you agree, no matter what the circumstances are, you will never tell this to a single soul, let alone think of it? You cannot, in any form whatsoever, no matter how subtle it is, tell this to anyone. Not even write it in a journal."

The other three nodded, a bit afraid of what was to come.

Edgeworth took a deep breath, and calmly removed his reading glasses.

"I admit it. I am a Steel Samurai fan. I've owned all of the DVDs, read the chapter and manga books... I have attended the plays, collected the cards and figurines. If that doesn't confirm I am a Steel Samurai fan, I don't know what will."

If Phoenix had his Magatama, he was sure Edgeworth's five psyche-locks were broken with that confession.

"There." Edgeworth's voice faltered into a more gentle tone. "I feel relieved to know I can tell you this — this clandestine information with you three and be trusted with it."

"...Gosh, Mr. Edgeworth, pal," Gumshoe said after a while, "you should have just told us from the very beginning. I'm great at keeping secrets."

"Whoa, Edgey!" Larry practically gleamed with delight. "I always knew you had the Steel Samurai fan in you! Remember when I was the Steel Samurai and gave you my autograph?! Oh, you must have been so surprised to see me, yeah?"

Edgeworth recoiled in shock. "L-Larry! Of course I'll always remember that! ...My dreams were crushed that day."

"...Honestly, Edgeworth," Phoenix quipped, "you really do look like the type of guy who'd be so serious on his day job, but come break-time, you'd be binge watching the Steel Samurai."

Edgeworth sighed. "At least you all have a positive reaction to it. I was afraid you all would... look down on me, I suppose. I think that's why... that's why I decided to keep this a secret."

"...I see. Well, it's alright now, Edgeworth. I can invite Maya over to your office now she's done with a difficult part of her training... maybe you two can — er, geek out in peace?"

The prosecutor gave a soft laugh, something a bit rare due to his personality. "Wright, I believe you mean 'talking about the show' in peace, yes? ...Anyway, I'm just glad you don't think of me as inferior, as I said earlier. Gumshoe, you've still never watched the show?"

"W-well, I really haven't taken the time to watch it, I guess."

"Then, I guess I can explain it to you. Maybe even give you some of my books and DVDs."

Gumshoe's eyes widened and, immediately, a big grin was plastered onto his face.

"I...! Oh, this is such an honor, Mr. Edgeworth, sir! I can finally do something in my spare time rather than clean your office, pal!"

Now I really must wonder, Edgeworth mused, now that I'd been promoted to Chief Prosecutor and my office got a redesign... does Detective Gumshoe really have a life?!

"Well," Edgeworth cleared his throat, "I suppose I can start you out by giving you the first volume of The Adventures of the Steel Samurai, which is largely based off the TV series, in case you don't have sufficient time. There are a few chapter books around the Steel Samurai, if you're not the manga type. Although I heartily recommend you watch the Steel Samurai Extravaganza DVD, which contains several of the episodes in chronological order, with behind-the-scenes and trivia and multitudes of other information."

Detective Gumshoe, who had been listening to Edgeworth's detailed ramble all this time, had his hands pressed together in happiness, his eyes sparkling. The other two, however, had now retreated to Edgeworth's sofa, where they both discussed how refined the office was.

"Oh, sir, that's wonderful! It sounds great — I feel as if I missed out on watching all of this so many years ago..."

Edgeworth smiled. "Oh, Detective Gumshoe, you really did miss out. Now, why don't you sit down next to Larry and Wright. In fact, I'll go ahead and tell all of you about the Steel Samurai... all of your curiosities have been piqued, I assume."

He sat down next to the three of them, who he all considered friends. Telling them about the Steel Samurai and his wonders, he knew that such a precious moment like this, with friends, especially after a big secret had been lifted from his shoulders, couldn't be wasted.


End file.
